Hi, I've been super busy Since May launching our new book,"Make Love Whenever Possible When Married With Children" and our companion website, makelovewheneverpossible.com. But now that we've got our business facebook,Twitter account and new taboo blogs rolling--I think I can get back to writing on my Reading Like Oprah blog too!
So when I saw the movie, " The Kids Are All Right" I thought," Hey, If Julianne Moore and Annette Bening can make their marriage work amidst the craziness of family life--so can the rest of us! I also realized that for the August/September reading focus--It's time to go back to a book we began reading months ago. Elizabeth Gilbert's " Committed" --Now that her earlier book, "Eat Pray Love" is a new movie opening this Friday nationwide with the fabulous Julia Roberts, I thought...It's time to re-visit this author and delve deeper in to her thoughts on love, marriage and the stress of it all!
Hopefully, many of you still have your copy of the book. "Committed" I have been re-reading sections I skipped--yes, I do that--
My favorite line today from the book is this one on page 131. " Maybe creating a big enough space within your consciousness to hold and accept someone's contradictions-someone's idiocies,even-is a kind of divine act. Perhaps transcendence can be found not only on solitary mountaintops or in monastic settings, but also at your own kitchen table, in the daily acceptance of your partner's most tiresome, irritating faults."
I love my man deeply, but after 21 years..day in and day out--I find, like Elizabeth says..I have to find acceptance at my kitchen table every day--otherwise we're doomed. Their are aspects to anyone, that if focused upon, will drive us mad. My mantra with my man is focusing on all his positive qualities--I think this is why we I still am in love with him.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Sunday, April 4, 2010
The New Oprah April Pick
Well Dear friends...sorry it's been so long since I've posted, but not only did I lose my Mom in late December, but my Dear Stepmom just passed away less than two weeks ago and I've been in a bit of a fog.
We have also been busy trying to save our house, raise our kids and launch our new book. Our new website just went live:Makelovewheneverpossible.com
Sometimes life really is intense. But I think I am exiting the fog. I find myself whistling again and enjoying the little things. Music. My kids. My husband. I still miss my Mom and now my Stepmom, but I've decided they are both standing right beside me as I continue my journey this lifetime as a wife, Mom, teacher, writer.
So..here goes..my April Oprah pick and finally a new post! So our new Oprah pick is, yes, another Memoir! " Falling Apart in One Piece" by Stacy Morrison. The Redbook editor in chief chronicles her own divorce and arrives at some wise conclusions.
Since the book I just wrote with my best friend chronicles our fight to stay married amidst the craziness of raising kids I think it will be good for me to read about what did not work and how this very accomplished career woman has handled all that.
Let's keep reading. Writing. Staying Creative--despite all obstacles!
take care all, Leslie
We have also been busy trying to save our house, raise our kids and launch our new book. Our new website just went live:Makelovewheneverpossible.com
Sometimes life really is intense. But I think I am exiting the fog. I find myself whistling again and enjoying the little things. Music. My kids. My husband. I still miss my Mom and now my Stepmom, but I've decided they are both standing right beside me as I continue my journey this lifetime as a wife, Mom, teacher, writer.
So..here goes..my April Oprah pick and finally a new post! So our new Oprah pick is, yes, another Memoir! " Falling Apart in One Piece" by Stacy Morrison. The Redbook editor in chief chronicles her own divorce and arrives at some wise conclusions.
Since the book I just wrote with my best friend chronicles our fight to stay married amidst the craziness of raising kids I think it will be good for me to read about what did not work and how this very accomplished career woman has handled all that.
Let's keep reading. Writing. Staying Creative--despite all obstacles!
take care all, Leslie
Monday, March 15, 2010
We are still reading "A Mountain of Crumbs" By Elena Gorokova
Hello dear friends. I am so sorry it has been so long since I have posted. I have been sick for a few weeks and am finally feeling better. So we are still reading" A Mountain of Crumbs" by Elena Gorokhova.
On page 267 Elena writes about her fears related to marrying an American and moving to Texas. She wonders if she will be allowed to leave her country and if her life will really be able to handle this dramatic change. " Am I really going to marry an American and move to Texas? I feel as I did when I was eleven, standing on a diving board just before they kicked me out of the district pool for my lack of swimming ability."
Wondering if she would marry and move consumed her at this point in her memoir. In the Soviet Union she always read that most Americans are begging on the streets and if she moved there she might end up living under a bridge. But she did not believe that. But she really knew nothing of life in America. She was scared--as we all are when we are making major changes.
She wondered if Robert would really go through with marrying a Soviet citizen. We have about thirty pages to go to find out.
Stay creative dear friends...I will post again later this week.
Take care, Leslie
On page 267 Elena writes about her fears related to marrying an American and moving to Texas. She wonders if she will be allowed to leave her country and if her life will really be able to handle this dramatic change. " Am I really going to marry an American and move to Texas? I feel as I did when I was eleven, standing on a diving board just before they kicked me out of the district pool for my lack of swimming ability."
Wondering if she would marry and move consumed her at this point in her memoir. In the Soviet Union she always read that most Americans are begging on the streets and if she moved there she might end up living under a bridge. But she did not believe that. But she really knew nothing of life in America. She was scared--as we all are when we are making major changes.
She wondered if Robert would really go through with marrying a Soviet citizen. We have about thirty pages to go to find out.
Stay creative dear friends...I will post again later this week.
Take care, Leslie
Monday, February 15, 2010
A Mountain Of Crumbs by Elena Gorokhova reminds us of family ties
Hi, our new Oprah pick, "A Mountain Of Crumbs" by Elena Gorokhova is a Memoir that defines how family shapes us forever.
The author shares fifteen great family photographs on page 215 that really help us see how her upbringing in Russia shaped her life. Though her life was in some ways harsh, cold and barren of any luxuries she was filled with treasures of the heart.
The author portrays how the love of her mother helped her develop confidence even in the middle of a confining Communist regime that limited so many aspects of Elena's life.
As I begin this Memoir I am reminded of my own family history and how regardless of my intense problems as a child It was always the love of my parents and other relatives that granted me inner strength too.
Let's be inspired by this new Oprah pick, I'll blog again soon, Take care everyone and stay inspired, Leslie
The author shares fifteen great family photographs on page 215 that really help us see how her upbringing in Russia shaped her life. Though her life was in some ways harsh, cold and barren of any luxuries she was filled with treasures of the heart.
The author portrays how the love of her mother helped her develop confidence even in the middle of a confining Communist regime that limited so many aspects of Elena's life.
As I begin this Memoir I am reminded of my own family history and how regardless of my intense problems as a child It was always the love of my parents and other relatives that granted me inner strength too.
Let's be inspired by this new Oprah pick, I'll blog again soon, Take care everyone and stay inspired, Leslie
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Our new Oprah pick for February-A mountain of crumbs by Elena Gorokhova
I just came back from the bookstore with our new February Oprah pick, "A Mountain of Crumbs" by Elena Gorokova. I still love the feel of a new hardback in my hands. I don't know what it is, but I think it might be the potential inspiration yet another writer will impart upon me.
On the cover jacket there's a quote by Billy Collins, the former U.S. Poet Laureate. " ...Gorokhova has written the Russian equivalent of "Angela's Ashes", an intimate story of growing up into young womanhood told with grace and humor." Well, it never hurts a writer to have our former National Poet Laureate praise the writing.
Although Elena grew up in St. Petersburg Russia, most of her life it was know as Leningrad, at the age of 24 she married an American and now lives--where else? New Jersey. A far cry from Russia, but if it's anything like the New Jersey I recall from my days living on the East Coast--there are a lot of people there with ancestors from Russia.
All of my relatives are from Russia. The older parts. Lithuania. So this should be an interesting read for me. The author dedicated her Memoir to her mother and I m planning to dedicate mine to my Mom too who recently passed away. OK here is a teaser: I love one of her opening lines on page 1.
"Born three years before Russia turned into the Soviet Union, my mother became a mirror image of my motherland:overbearing, protective, difficult to leave...She presided in our kitchen over a pot of borsch, a ladle in her hand, ordering us to eat in the same voice that made her anatomy students quiver. A survivor of the famine, Stalin's terror, and the Great Patriotic War, she controlled and protected,ferociously.
Let's read or if you can't get the book-feel free to comment on the blog anyway. Anyway, let's get inspired to be creative.
On the cover jacket there's a quote by Billy Collins, the former U.S. Poet Laureate. " ...Gorokhova has written the Russian equivalent of "Angela's Ashes", an intimate story of growing up into young womanhood told with grace and humor." Well, it never hurts a writer to have our former National Poet Laureate praise the writing.
Although Elena grew up in St. Petersburg Russia, most of her life it was know as Leningrad, at the age of 24 she married an American and now lives--where else? New Jersey. A far cry from Russia, but if it's anything like the New Jersey I recall from my days living on the East Coast--there are a lot of people there with ancestors from Russia.
All of my relatives are from Russia. The older parts. Lithuania. So this should be an interesting read for me. The author dedicated her Memoir to her mother and I m planning to dedicate mine to my Mom too who recently passed away. OK here is a teaser: I love one of her opening lines on page 1.
"Born three years before Russia turned into the Soviet Union, my mother became a mirror image of my motherland:overbearing, protective, difficult to leave...She presided in our kitchen over a pot of borsch, a ladle in her hand, ordering us to eat in the same voice that made her anatomy students quiver. A survivor of the famine, Stalin's terror, and the Great Patriotic War, she controlled and protected,ferociously.
Let's read or if you can't get the book-feel free to comment on the blog anyway. Anyway, let's get inspired to be creative.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Oprah's pick portrays true acceptance of a mate
This is the last blog for " Committed" as we are on to our February pick!
But before unveiling the new find I should say that Gilbert skillfully unveiled the art of accepting your partner as they are. She relayed well that part of true love is simply acceptance.
On page 131 she wrote, " Maybe creating a big enough space within your consciousness to hold and accept someone's contradictions-someone's idiocies, even-is a kind of divine act. Perhaps transcendence can be found not only on solitary mountaintops or in monastic settings, but also at your own kitchen table, in the daily acceptance of your partner's most tiresome, irritating faults." As I enter my 23rd year of married life I find this sentiment all too true. I must love him warts and all as he accepts me warts and all.
Well...The February Oprah magazine highlights our new pick and it looks like a great memoir. The title is "Mountain of Crumbs" by Elena Gorokhova. In this work the author describes growing up in Russia in the 1960s. The former U.S. Poet Laureate Billy Collins says Elena has written the "Russian equivalent of "Angela's Ashes" And J.M. Coetzee, the 2003 Nobel Prize winner in literature calls her memoir , " An enthralling read"
Since I am writing a memoir and all of my relatives are from Russia this work peaks my interest. I think it will be valuable to read about the common threads that stretch across culture and continents. I will be blogging in the next few days about this new book and hope to read your comments as we inspire each other to be creative and create yet again.
take care, Leslie
But before unveiling the new find I should say that Gilbert skillfully unveiled the art of accepting your partner as they are. She relayed well that part of true love is simply acceptance.
On page 131 she wrote, " Maybe creating a big enough space within your consciousness to hold and accept someone's contradictions-someone's idiocies, even-is a kind of divine act. Perhaps transcendence can be found not only on solitary mountaintops or in monastic settings, but also at your own kitchen table, in the daily acceptance of your partner's most tiresome, irritating faults." As I enter my 23rd year of married life I find this sentiment all too true. I must love him warts and all as he accepts me warts and all.
Well...The February Oprah magazine highlights our new pick and it looks like a great memoir. The title is "Mountain of Crumbs" by Elena Gorokhova. In this work the author describes growing up in Russia in the 1960s. The former U.S. Poet Laureate Billy Collins says Elena has written the "Russian equivalent of "Angela's Ashes" And J.M. Coetzee, the 2003 Nobel Prize winner in literature calls her memoir , " An enthralling read"
Since I am writing a memoir and all of my relatives are from Russia this work peaks my interest. I think it will be valuable to read about the common threads that stretch across culture and continents. I will be blogging in the next few days about this new book and hope to read your comments as we inspire each other to be creative and create yet again.
take care, Leslie
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Oprah's pick portrays unconditional love
What I like about Elizabeth Gilbert's memoir "Committed" is how it upholds the value of unconditional love. The notion that we are all flawed but all we want really is to be loved without conditions. It's never about the stuff in a marriage it's always about the substance. Is there romance? Is there passion? Is there respect? Is there kindness? Is there compassion, caring and constant effort? Is there affectionate touching? Does he or she love me no matter what? Is there one place in this life, on this planet where we are loved for just who we are as we are, warts and all? To me, this is what true love and true commitment are all about. And I think Gilbert gets this.
Gilbert points out on page 123 that according to the Rutgers study, other factors of marital resilience include:Education, children,cohabitation, heterogamy, social integration, religiousness, and gender fairness. If you have the book I advise you to sift through the findings of this study--very interesting. But what's even more noteworthy is what Felipe said to Elizabeth when she asks him on page 128 how he knows he really loves her.
Felipe talks about his gem stone business and then he goes on to say, " It's the same with relationships, I think. People always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each other's personalities. Who wouldn't? Anybody can love the most wonderful part of another person. But that's not the clever trick. The really clever trick is this: Can you accept the flaws? Can you look at your partner's faults honestly and say, 'I can work around that. I can make something out of that.'? Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it's always going to be pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you." And then Gilbert says, " Are you saying that you are clever enough to work around my worthless junky, crappy bits?" And then Felipe says, "...I can accept the whole parcel."
After 22 years of marriage I think Felipe hits the mark. We are all beautiful and we are all flawed--the deal is can we love that beauty and those flaws of the partner we are with--that's clever allright and wise. I love the famous chinese proverb which says, "Before marriage have both eyes wide open, after, close one." Or the Buddhist saying, " Focus on his or her strengths not the weaknesses or there will be no end to the weaknesses.
Ah, yes, commitment really requires our own commitment to loving unconditionally doesn't it? Any thoughts, Keep creating guys, love, Leslie
Gilbert points out on page 123 that according to the Rutgers study, other factors of marital resilience include:Education, children,cohabitation, heterogamy, social integration, religiousness, and gender fairness. If you have the book I advise you to sift through the findings of this study--very interesting. But what's even more noteworthy is what Felipe said to Elizabeth when she asks him on page 128 how he knows he really loves her.
Felipe talks about his gem stone business and then he goes on to say, " It's the same with relationships, I think. People always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each other's personalities. Who wouldn't? Anybody can love the most wonderful part of another person. But that's not the clever trick. The really clever trick is this: Can you accept the flaws? Can you look at your partner's faults honestly and say, 'I can work around that. I can make something out of that.'? Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it's always going to be pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you." And then Gilbert says, " Are you saying that you are clever enough to work around my worthless junky, crappy bits?" And then Felipe says, "...I can accept the whole parcel."
After 22 years of marriage I think Felipe hits the mark. We are all beautiful and we are all flawed--the deal is can we love that beauty and those flaws of the partner we are with--that's clever allright and wise. I love the famous chinese proverb which says, "Before marriage have both eyes wide open, after, close one." Or the Buddhist saying, " Focus on his or her strengths not the weaknesses or there will be no end to the weaknesses.
Ah, yes, commitment really requires our own commitment to loving unconditionally doesn't it? Any thoughts, Keep creating guys, love, Leslie
Monday, January 18, 2010
Elizabeth Gilbert prays on commitment
As I read "Committed" I can't help but wish it were more like her previous book, "Eat, Pray. Love." Her writing seems different and not as engaging for me yet I like the topic. As she shares her struggle with the western concept of marriage after her horrific first divorce I understand her trepidation as she faces a new commitment to Felipe.
On page 53 Elizabeth writes, " What is marriage supposed to be, then if not a delivery device of ultimate bliss? But she quickly explains that even though this is the ideal the reality is often anything but blissful. As Gilbert grapples with what matrimony promises versus what it actually is she compares it to a battle. Later on page 85 she wrote, "An old Polish adage warns: before going to war, say one prayer. Before going to sea, say two prayers. Before getting married, say three." She then writes, "I intend to pray all year."
I think those of us who have been married for many moons know that love, commitment and everything monogamy requires is so complicated, complex and impossible to explain. The factors involved in making any committed relationship work vary from couple to couple. Elizabeth shares her fears about approaching marriage for a second time while she examines like an anthropologist the institution of marriage across many cultures.
I like her exploration even though this memoir reads more like case studies. It is a bit dry, but I still like her message. Don't give up on committed love. As we aproach Valentines day--a worthy concept to contemplate,
Take care, Leslie
On page 53 Elizabeth writes, " What is marriage supposed to be, then if not a delivery device of ultimate bliss? But she quickly explains that even though this is the ideal the reality is often anything but blissful. As Gilbert grapples with what matrimony promises versus what it actually is she compares it to a battle. Later on page 85 she wrote, "An old Polish adage warns: before going to war, say one prayer. Before going to sea, say two prayers. Before getting married, say three." She then writes, "I intend to pray all year."
I think those of us who have been married for many moons know that love, commitment and everything monogamy requires is so complicated, complex and impossible to explain. The factors involved in making any committed relationship work vary from couple to couple. Elizabeth shares her fears about approaching marriage for a second time while she examines like an anthropologist the institution of marriage across many cultures.
I like her exploration even though this memoir reads more like case studies. It is a bit dry, but I still like her message. Don't give up on committed love. As we aproach Valentines day--a worthy concept to contemplate,
Take care, Leslie
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Mary Karr wins over her darkness
Hi Dear friends: My lovely Mom passed away on December 14Th and this is the first time I have been able to begin blogging again. I Know my Mom would be like, "Leslie, get on with it--you know you are a writer, so write, write and keep on writing.I'm busy with my next life anyway--so don't delay on my account" OK Mom, here goes:
At the end of Mary's Memoir she describes her suicide attempt and how she admitted herself in to the mental institution she had the privilege of belonging to as the wife of a Harvard man. She later describes her time at the institution not as a nervous break-down, but as a nervous break-through. In reflection she writes, "I think back to the morning when I'd worked on the suicide note feeling already dead. It's a thousand years ago, the writing of that note."
She also wrote about how her connection to Church and God allowed her to pray deeply to break away from both her addiction and the darkness that held her happiness hostage. She explains the power of her prayer in this way, " It sounds so fake to say it, but only after I started praying was I able to put sober days together."
During the final section of Mary's book I see so many parallels to my own childhood. The struggle my Mom battled against addiction, the struggle I face now after her death seeing her soaring fighting spirit to battle darkness everywhere in me. Thank you Mary for writing honestly and inspiring me as I write my Memoir and thank you Mom for, like Mary, fighting to live and raise your children with a loving heart. Thank you. I love you for that forever Mom.
Our next Oprah pick from her January Magazine will also be a memoir. It's written by Elizabeth Gilbert who also wrote, "Eat, Pray, Love" soon to be a movie with Julia Roberts! Yes, I'll be going to that! Anyway, her new Memoir will be out on Jan 5Th and it called " Committed" It's all about her marriage to Felipe and the challenges and Joys of committed relationships. In the excerpt from her new Memoir in Oprah's January Magazine, she writes," There is hardly a more gracious gift that we can offer somebody than to accept them fully, to love them almost despite themselves."
I hope everyone pursues their creative dreams in 2010 and I hope reading our Oprah picks continues to inspire all of us to never give up on our creaivity, Happy New Year, Leslie
At the end of Mary's Memoir she describes her suicide attempt and how she admitted herself in to the mental institution she had the privilege of belonging to as the wife of a Harvard man. She later describes her time at the institution not as a nervous break-down, but as a nervous break-through. In reflection she writes, "I think back to the morning when I'd worked on the suicide note feeling already dead. It's a thousand years ago, the writing of that note."
She also wrote about how her connection to Church and God allowed her to pray deeply to break away from both her addiction and the darkness that held her happiness hostage. She explains the power of her prayer in this way, " It sounds so fake to say it, but only after I started praying was I able to put sober days together."
During the final section of Mary's book I see so many parallels to my own childhood. The struggle my Mom battled against addiction, the struggle I face now after her death seeing her soaring fighting spirit to battle darkness everywhere in me. Thank you Mary for writing honestly and inspiring me as I write my Memoir and thank you Mom for, like Mary, fighting to live and raise your children with a loving heart. Thank you. I love you for that forever Mom.
Our next Oprah pick from her January Magazine will also be a memoir. It's written by Elizabeth Gilbert who also wrote, "Eat, Pray, Love" soon to be a movie with Julia Roberts! Yes, I'll be going to that! Anyway, her new Memoir will be out on Jan 5Th and it called " Committed" It's all about her marriage to Felipe and the challenges and Joys of committed relationships. In the excerpt from her new Memoir in Oprah's January Magazine, she writes," There is hardly a more gracious gift that we can offer somebody than to accept them fully, to love them almost despite themselves."
I hope everyone pursues their creative dreams in 2010 and I hope reading our Oprah picks continues to inspire all of us to never give up on our creaivity, Happy New Year, Leslie
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Hospice in the house
It's difficult for me to blog today. My Mom is very ill and we do not know how much longer she will live. I thought about not posting today, but when thinking about my Mom and the book we are reading about Mary Karr as a Mom struggling with addiction I realized my Mom would want me to write today. She knows how much I love writing and how it helps me to process all things positive and negative. So here I go..a writing... again
On page 256 Mary wrote, " Only an alcoholic can so discombobulate her insides that she might weigh in her hands two choices-a) get drunk and drive into stuff with more molecular density than she has, and b) be a present and loving mother to her son-and, on picking the latter, plunge into despair." Mary really explains at this point in her memoir how addiction is such a deadly disease and how even though one may love their child deeply--the addiction trumps all.
On page 257 she describes walking her young child in the stroller past a bar. " ...Pushing Dev's stroller past the sour fumes of a beer joint's door-have to restrain myself from running in and downing the first Bud I can get my mitts on. These powerful urges are close to complete madness, the old drunk self so fully occupying my body, it's like being possessed." And possessed she is.
I had planned to pick another Oprah pick for December but with the situation with my Mom I am not reading as fast as planned. So we will continue with this Memoir through December. Besides it's a crazy hectic month for everyone.
I am still inspired by my experiment to write, hope you are too, Leslie
On page 256 Mary wrote, " Only an alcoholic can so discombobulate her insides that she might weigh in her hands two choices-a) get drunk and drive into stuff with more molecular density than she has, and b) be a present and loving mother to her son-and, on picking the latter, plunge into despair." Mary really explains at this point in her memoir how addiction is such a deadly disease and how even though one may love their child deeply--the addiction trumps all.
On page 257 she describes walking her young child in the stroller past a bar. " ...Pushing Dev's stroller past the sour fumes of a beer joint's door-have to restrain myself from running in and downing the first Bud I can get my mitts on. These powerful urges are close to complete madness, the old drunk self so fully occupying my body, it's like being possessed." And possessed she is.
I had planned to pick another Oprah pick for December but with the situation with my Mom I am not reading as fast as planned. So we will continue with this Memoir through December. Besides it's a crazy hectic month for everyone.
I am still inspired by my experiment to write, hope you are too, Leslie
Sunday, November 29, 2009
The power of addiction
I think we all know how powerful addiction can be but Mary Karr describes it in a unique way in her chapter titled, " No Mom is an Island." In this part of her Memoir she reflects on how she battled the same addiction with alcohol that her Mom tangled with daily. Mary describes wrangling with her disease and losing the tussle time and time again. Her denial was powerful. I guess we all battle with denial when it comes to painful things about ourselves that we don't want to face. I love her candid honesty. Mary reveals how she chooses booze first before caring for her sick son.
On page 160 she recounts a time when her infant son was very sick. But how her sickness was even greater. " But before I change him, before I squirt the syrupy acetaminophen into his mouth, I haul him whooping down the stairs to the kitchen. I open the stove where a near empty bottle of Jack Daniels squats like the proverbial troll under the bridge. Needing neither glass nor ice, I press my lips to the cool mouth, and it blows into my lungs so I can keep on." Mary wanted so badly to stop the elements of the disease but it was as if she had no control over her impulses. The alcohol ruled.
To hide her abuse from her husband she would often drive around at dawn dumping bottles in various trash cans in her suburban neighborhood so he could never fully realize how much she was consuming. As she continues to want to quit she finds herself trapped in a cycle she can't exit.
On page 171 she describes the power of this addiction,"I keep getting drunk. There's no more interesting way to say it. Only drunk does the volume crank down. Liquor no longer lets me bullshit myself...it shrinks me to a plodding zombie state in which one day smudges into every other- it blurs time." Later on this page she writes, " I'm surprised by my own shitfaced state...I once more, with feeling-take the pledge to quit drinking. Cross my heart. Pinky swear to myself. This is it, I say, the last night I sit here.
But of course this is just the start of her stopping. She's stuck against the power of addiction and denial.
On page 160 she recounts a time when her infant son was very sick. But how her sickness was even greater. " But before I change him, before I squirt the syrupy acetaminophen into his mouth, I haul him whooping down the stairs to the kitchen. I open the stove where a near empty bottle of Jack Daniels squats like the proverbial troll under the bridge. Needing neither glass nor ice, I press my lips to the cool mouth, and it blows into my lungs so I can keep on." Mary wanted so badly to stop the elements of the disease but it was as if she had no control over her impulses. The alcohol ruled.
To hide her abuse from her husband she would often drive around at dawn dumping bottles in various trash cans in her suburban neighborhood so he could never fully realize how much she was consuming. As she continues to want to quit she finds herself trapped in a cycle she can't exit.
On page 171 she describes the power of this addiction,"I keep getting drunk. There's no more interesting way to say it. Only drunk does the volume crank down. Liquor no longer lets me bullshit myself...it shrinks me to a plodding zombie state in which one day smudges into every other- it blurs time." Later on this page she writes, " I'm surprised by my own shitfaced state...I once more, with feeling-take the pledge to quit drinking. Cross my heart. Pinky swear to myself. This is it, I say, the last night I sit here.
But of course this is just the start of her stopping. She's stuck against the power of addiction and denial.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
The holidays highlight Mary's alcoholism
Reading Mary Karr's memoir "Lit" as Thanksgiving approaches can be rough. Reading about her struggles with her parents and then as a wife and then as a parent is also challenging at this time of year. What tops it all off is that my Mom is in the hospital right now and seeing her suffer reminds me of our own difficult history as I read this memoir.
But reading about Mary's struggles surprisingly inspires me too. She has, as we now know, come out of all that hell and become a best-selling noted author. And isn't that a victory even amid a torrential terrible past? I also love her ability to so honestly share her sadness about the aspects of her life that did not go as planned.
On page 87 she writes, " I set out to forge a family, but it fell apart. Know any divorcee who ever stops weighing fault for a marriage's implosion some divine scales?" I like the way she describes the ending of her marriage by describing the beginning. I also like how she honestly explains, " I was too shitfaced at the end" to perhaps remember the unravelling correctly, but the beginning was clear. " Driving east with all my belongings wedged into Warren's small white car, I feel swept off my feet as any storybook maiden by her champion. It's Thanksgiving weekend, and the holiday burger taken at a roadside diner is a feast."
She reflects on the beginning of her end with him in this way, " The weak spots in our union are there from the git-go-aren't they always? But every difference lures me, for if I can yield to warren's way of being, his cool certainty can replace my ragtag-intermittently drunken-lurching around."
Mary Karr writes wonderfully about how her alcohol abuse affects every aspect of her life and even her memory of it. I am continually inspired to read more and write more as I eat up every delicious bit of this writer's words. She is gifted and I am inspired. My experiment continues and I hope you join me with your thoughts--
Let creativity reign this holiday season--happy reading-Leslie
But reading about Mary's struggles surprisingly inspires me too. She has, as we now know, come out of all that hell and become a best-selling noted author. And isn't that a victory even amid a torrential terrible past? I also love her ability to so honestly share her sadness about the aspects of her life that did not go as planned.
On page 87 she writes, " I set out to forge a family, but it fell apart. Know any divorcee who ever stops weighing fault for a marriage's implosion some divine scales?" I like the way she describes the ending of her marriage by describing the beginning. I also like how she honestly explains, " I was too shitfaced at the end" to perhaps remember the unravelling correctly, but the beginning was clear. " Driving east with all my belongings wedged into Warren's small white car, I feel swept off my feet as any storybook maiden by her champion. It's Thanksgiving weekend, and the holiday burger taken at a roadside diner is a feast."
She reflects on the beginning of her end with him in this way, " The weak spots in our union are there from the git-go-aren't they always? But every difference lures me, for if I can yield to warren's way of being, his cool certainty can replace my ragtag-intermittently drunken-lurching around."
Mary Karr writes wonderfully about how her alcohol abuse affects every aspect of her life and even her memory of it. I am continually inspired to read more and write more as I eat up every delicious bit of this writer's words. She is gifted and I am inspired. My experiment continues and I hope you join me with your thoughts--
Let creativity reign this holiday season--happy reading-Leslie
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Oprah highlights the hopes of all writers everywhere
While I was reading Oprah's November issue yesterday I came across a section titled" Finding your voice--Write from the heart. Walk through that door. Don't ever really give up. Three writers on how they discovered who they were meant to be." pages 188 to 190.I love that Oprah uses her magazine to inspire those of us who write. I love that she uses her power to encourage creative souls to keep creating despite the obstacles.
The first excerpt she includes is from our pick of the month, "Lit" by Mary Karr. In this section Mary talks about her struggles along the road of becoming a writer. Then two other writers share their realizations about when they they were stuck creatively and how they broke through. As I face my own challenges to write daily--I am encouraged--their message is simply never ever give up!
So far, my experiment is working. I am inspired. After reading up to page 65 in "Lit" I have been motivated to write an additional 8 pages on my memoir! On page 31 Mary Karr writes about the first time she blacked out due to her drinking. She was only 17. She describes how her mother and father drank and how it led to her love of the buzz.
On page 43 she describes a time when she drank with her father--which seemed to be a normal aspect of her childhood. Her honest writing encourages mine. She wrote about a time with her dad, " The bottle gleamed in the air between us. I took the whiskey, planning a courtesy sip. But the aroma stopped me just as my tongue touched the glass mouth. The warm silk flowered in my mouth and down my gullet, after which a little blue flame of pleasure roared back up my spine. A poof of sequins went sparkling through my middle. As he went to screw the lid back on, my hand swung out of it's own accord , and I said, can I have another taste? The taste started me seeking out more hard liquor once I was back at school..."
Reading really does ignite my creative spirit. I hope it revives yours too.
More inspiration awaits...I can't wait to read on...
The first excerpt she includes is from our pick of the month, "Lit" by Mary Karr. In this section Mary talks about her struggles along the road of becoming a writer. Then two other writers share their realizations about when they they were stuck creatively and how they broke through. As I face my own challenges to write daily--I am encouraged--their message is simply never ever give up!
So far, my experiment is working. I am inspired. After reading up to page 65 in "Lit" I have been motivated to write an additional 8 pages on my memoir! On page 31 Mary Karr writes about the first time she blacked out due to her drinking. She was only 17. She describes how her mother and father drank and how it led to her love of the buzz.
On page 43 she describes a time when she drank with her father--which seemed to be a normal aspect of her childhood. Her honest writing encourages mine. She wrote about a time with her dad, " The bottle gleamed in the air between us. I took the whiskey, planning a courtesy sip. But the aroma stopped me just as my tongue touched the glass mouth. The warm silk flowered in my mouth and down my gullet, after which a little blue flame of pleasure roared back up my spine. A poof of sequins went sparkling through my middle. As he went to screw the lid back on, my hand swung out of it's own accord , and I said, can I have another taste? The taste started me seeking out more hard liquor once I was back at school..."
Reading really does ignite my creative spirit. I hope it revives yours too.
More inspiration awaits...I can't wait to read on...
Monday, November 9, 2009
I love holding a new hardback in my hand
I finally found a moment to drive to the local bookstore and get my copy of "Lit" by Mary Karr. I guess I could have ordered it on Amazon, but I'm still that kid staring at my shimmering beaded doorway crying to Cat Stevens over a lost love. The concept of ordering on-line is still foreign to me, but I am learning to blog! I still love the smell of bookstores. My eyes get big as I scan the shelves. Smelling the card stock and scented candles now placed neatly between new books brings me a feeling of peace.
When I picked up my copy of Oprah's pick for November, "Lit" I held the hardback tightly and felt the joy of touching new binding. Bold. Built to handle being thrown about my car. My Kitchen. My gym bag. Ah yes, new book binding brings me old fashioned fun. Reading the interior flaps which describe the book in detail entices me to go further.
As I started the book I smiled. The loud silence of reading fills my soul. She's a fabulous writer who gets right down to it in this memoir. ( Her third) On page 9 her writing hit me hard. She writes about the Mom she became when her son was only an infant. "Then I started drinking every day and stopped breastfeeding, and tonight, while holding the bottle to his working mouth, I averted my eyes for fear he'd see the gutshot animal I'm morphing into, which mirrors the mother I fled to keep from becoming, the one who shoved me off-Don't hug me, you're making me hot -her tagline."
As we approach Thanksgiving I can't help but think about family--what I appreciate and the tough parts too. This Memoir has already inspired me in my writing as I am working on mine. And I'm only on page 10. Reading great writing is like sitting and listening to a master. Inspiring.
Let me know your thoughts as you get inspired
a writer inspired today, Leslie
When I picked up my copy of Oprah's pick for November, "Lit" I held the hardback tightly and felt the joy of touching new binding. Bold. Built to handle being thrown about my car. My Kitchen. My gym bag. Ah yes, new book binding brings me old fashioned fun. Reading the interior flaps which describe the book in detail entices me to go further.
As I started the book I smiled. The loud silence of reading fills my soul. She's a fabulous writer who gets right down to it in this memoir. ( Her third) On page 9 her writing hit me hard. She writes about the Mom she became when her son was only an infant. "Then I started drinking every day and stopped breastfeeding, and tonight, while holding the bottle to his working mouth, I averted my eyes for fear he'd see the gutshot animal I'm morphing into, which mirrors the mother I fled to keep from becoming, the one who shoved me off-Don't hug me, you're making me hot -her tagline."
As we approach Thanksgiving I can't help but think about family--what I appreciate and the tough parts too. This Memoir has already inspired me in my writing as I am working on mine. And I'm only on page 10. Reading great writing is like sitting and listening to a master. Inspiring.
Let me know your thoughts as you get inspired
a writer inspired today, Leslie
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Learning to read Oprah's reading room reviews
This is the second blog I've ever written in my life and I'm so excited! Since writing my last blog I have had to beg my teenager again to help me learn how to post, publish, comment and, yes, even sign in.
She looked at me during a blog practice session and said, Mom, really, how can you not know how to do this?" I said, "well, honey, when I was your age we didn't have cell phones, e-mail, facebook, my space, twitter or blogs." She stared shocked and said, "Well, how did you communicate with people?" I explained to her how we had to pick up a phone, stop by or write a letter. "Letters, she said softly, I've rarely gotten or written a letter." That's when I realized how far apart our generations are when it comes to technology. Well, at least we both still read books. And on to that....
When I was checking out Oprah's Reading Room in her November Magazine I thought the big black bold titles in front of each review were the book titles, but after going to the book store to buy my first pick for the experiment I've learned two things: One, I was wrong, and two, the book will not be in stores or available on Amazon until next Tuesday, November third. I guess the big bold black lettering headlining each review is the promo, but the book titles are in the text. So, the actual title of my first pick is not "The Road To Poetry", but it's actually "LIT" by Mary Karr. At least I got the author right in my first blog.
Oprah's reviewers say her memoir opens with a letter to her son and "chronicles a decade of motherhood, alcoholism, and a long, skeptical slog toward faith." Sounds inspiring already. Even though I have not read the book yet, this process inspires me. I started writing with fresh vigor yesterday. And any day that I write I know I am inspired. I feel energized. Creativity. Creativity. Creativity. It fills my soul.
I'll be running to the bookstore on Tuesday and I hope you join me. Let's get inspired to create.
Love to all my Internet reading friends. And by the way... my daughter says I'm finally learning technology can be cool.
working on being inspired to write daily, Leslie
She looked at me during a blog practice session and said, Mom, really, how can you not know how to do this?" I said, "well, honey, when I was your age we didn't have cell phones, e-mail, facebook, my space, twitter or blogs." She stared shocked and said, "Well, how did you communicate with people?" I explained to her how we had to pick up a phone, stop by or write a letter. "Letters, she said softly, I've rarely gotten or written a letter." That's when I realized how far apart our generations are when it comes to technology. Well, at least we both still read books. And on to that....
When I was checking out Oprah's Reading Room in her November Magazine I thought the big black bold titles in front of each review were the book titles, but after going to the book store to buy my first pick for the experiment I've learned two things: One, I was wrong, and two, the book will not be in stores or available on Amazon until next Tuesday, November third. I guess the big bold black lettering headlining each review is the promo, but the book titles are in the text. So, the actual title of my first pick is not "The Road To Poetry", but it's actually "LIT" by Mary Karr. At least I got the author right in my first blog.
Oprah's reviewers say her memoir opens with a letter to her son and "chronicles a decade of motherhood, alcoholism, and a long, skeptical slog toward faith." Sounds inspiring already. Even though I have not read the book yet, this process inspires me. I started writing with fresh vigor yesterday. And any day that I write I know I am inspired. I feel energized. Creativity. Creativity. Creativity. It fills my soul.
I'll be running to the bookstore on Tuesday and I hope you join me. Let's get inspired to create.
Love to all my Internet reading friends. And by the way... my daughter says I'm finally learning technology can be cool.
working on being inspired to write daily, Leslie
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
My reading like Oprah experiment begins
I am a writer who needs inspiration every day. I'm constantly struggling against my own demons to write. So as I prayed on this last week I thought I should try a twelve month blogging experiment.
I decided to read one book that Oprah suggests in her monthly reading room in her magazine. I don't have television and Oprah's magazine is my lifeline for inspiration. I always run to the supermarket to buy the latest edition. I want to see how reading one of Oprah's picks might inspire me as a writer. I want to see if any of you out there want to join me in this experiment and share with me how my pick of the month might inspire you with your creative passionate dreams.
I begged my teenage daughter to give me fifteen minutes of her time to help me set up this blog because I had no idea how to do it. I am still in awe of the internet and how it works. Being a kid of the 60's--this whole thing still baffles me.
The November O issue is out so I am starting my reading like Oprah experiment with one of her picks on page 146 in the November issue. The title is "The Road To Poetry" by Mary Karr and it's a Memoir. I am choosing this because one of my writing projects is a memoir . I'll try to read a few chapters every week and blog about how they do or don't inspire me in my writing or in any aspect of my life. Let me know if any one out there in Internet Land would like to join me and let me know how this memoir impacts you. I am also already reading a memoir the author Mary Karr wrote a long, long time ago titled " The Liars Club." When I went to the Tennessee Williams Literary Festival in New Orleans two years ago, a New York Times bestselling author suggested this Memoir to all aspiring memoir writers-- so I bought it fast.
Well, here goes...Hoping Reading Like Oprah can inspire me...
Writer seeking inspiration, Leslie
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